20 Ways to Annoy Hiei
by Ayane M
Summary: This kinda activity could get a girl killed... Occasionally implied HieiOC, maybe... T for mild language and a LOT of insinuated violence.
1. Puppy

Ayane: Fufufufu…

Hiei: I'm warning you…

Ayane: Oh, this'll be fun! My first book of drabbles!…I think this counts as procrastinating…but I am working on _NBNA_, promise. We'll learn more about Aya's past. ;)

Kurama: Lady Ayane doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Inugirl27's Youtube video: "20 Ways to Annoy Hiei" or any songs from those ways. She owns her OC(s).

Hiei: You realize I will kill you, right?

(Ayane giggles nervously)

* * *

><p><strong>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<strong>

Chapter One – Puppy!

**Give him a puppy and tell him that you told animal rescue that he'd take care of it and they'll be checking in to make sure he's taking good care of the puppy**

"Oh, Hiei-dono!" Ayane called, peeking into the trees she passed for the demon. She beamed when he landed in front of her. "Heya, Hiei-dono!"

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What do you have behind your back, Girl?"

"This? It's a present! For you!" She led the small animal around to the front of her with its leash. "It's a husky puppy. They're friendly, loyal and very clever."

"Moron, what will I do with this creature?"

She shrugged. "Dunno. But I told the shelter that you'd take care of it and gave them Genkai's address so they can check to make sure you're taking care of it."

Hiei gritted his teeth and glared at her. "If you and that creature are not out of my sight in the next five seconds there will be nothing to check up on."

She blinked, lifted the puppy to her chest, and took off. "Don't kill us!"

"Tch." He hopped back into his tree and shut his eyes again. "Idiot.

* * *

><p>Ayane: w00t! ...Drabbles are very hard to write. I'm used to writing more per chapter... Oh well!<p>

Hiei: Moron.

Ayane: Teehee! I love it. 19 to go! Also, the next chapter of _NBNA_ is almost done! Success!

Kurama: Please review kindly.


	2. Stare

Ayane: This'll get my plot bunny back, for sure! I just need some practice with Hiei! He's been acting weird the last few chapters of _NBNA_. I need to fix it.

Hiei: Moron, you're the one writing!

(Ayane giggles)

Yusuka: Aya doesn't own YYH, Inugirl27's vid, or songs from said vid. She owns her OC.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Two – Stare!

**Make eye contact with him for more than two seconds**

"What are you doing now, Moron?" For some reason, the girl was grating on his nerves. He briefly wondered if she had a death wish.

"Looking at ya." Ayane continued to meet his glare, refusing to lose.

"…Moron," he grumbled, looking back out the window.

She pouted and looked towards the kitchen. "Yusuke, you lied! It took sixteen whole seconds for him to get moody! You said it wouldn't take that long!" Her pout deepened when the other laughed at her and, grumbling, she turned to look at the television again.

If it were in character, Hiei would have face-palmed.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Exactly 100 words! I win!<p>

Kurama: Oh, Lady Ayane…

Yusuke: It takes three seconds for me…

Ayane: Then you're doing it wrong. (winks)

(Kurama shakes his head)

Yusuke: So…wrong…


	3. Duties

Ayane: Oh, this is fun. No wonder I've had authors take breaks between stories to do challenges!

Kurama: Lady Ayane… (sighs)

Draco: Yeah, Slacker, maybe you'll work on my story after this, too.

Ayane: Sure, sure… Right after I find a "20 Ways to Annoy Draco" vid… Hm… (opens web browser)

Kurama: Lady Ayane doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Inugirl27's video, or songs. She owns her OC only.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Three – Duties

**Steal his sword and tell him he can't have it back until he helps a senior citizen across the street, plays a game with a little kid, and is nice to Kuwabara for an entire day**

"Girl, return it now."

"Nuh-uh! You have to do all the things on your list!" Ayane stuck her tongue out at him. "There's a whole world out there, Hiei-dono! You can't get your sword back!"

He glowered. "I don't need a sword to kill you…"

**()()()**

"How long has Lady Ayane been running?" the redhead asked, coming up next to his friend.

"Hn. Three hours. She more than likely has gotten herself lost."

"Does she know you found your sword an hour ago?"

"…Don't tell her yet, Kit," he grumbled, crumpling the list she made him in his fist and smirking.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Meanie!<p>

(Hiei sits silently, having given up)

Ayane: Hope you all are enjoying these as much as I am!


	4. There's this Song

Ayane: Ooo! A super fun one! Hey…Hiei's disappeared.

Kurama: Oh, Lady Ayane… (sighs) Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, the video "20 Ways to Annoy Hiei" belongs to Inugirl27, and the songs belongs to…whatever human chose to write them.

Ayane: I own my OC!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Five – There's this Song

**Sing "I know a Song that Gets on Everybody's Nerves and this is How it Goes" in your head over and over**

He knew better to ask, but her bouncing around on the couch was making him curious. "Do you have music on, Girl?"

"No, Hiei-dono, I do not," she responded, smiling and still bouncing.

Though something told him he would regret it, he peeked into her mind.

_…and this is how it goes! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes! I know a song that gets—_

"Moron!" he snapped, knowing he would now be forced to remember the song. Again.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Bwahahahaha!<p>

Yusuke: She's officially lost it.


	5. Siblings

Ayane: These are taking up SO much space in MSWord…

Hiei: This one would just make me kill you.

Ayane: You won't kill me! You love me! I don't own YYH, Inugirl27's video, or any songs. I own my OC!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Five – Siblings

**Threaten to tell people that Yukina's his sister**

"I'll tell that tree!"

Eye roll.

"I'll tell that ladybug!"

Sigh.

"I'll tell that human child over there!"

Grumble.

"I'll tell that police officer lady in the road!"

Completely ignored.

"I'll tell… I'll tell Kuwabara!" Ayane gulped as Hiei glared at her. "I-I'll do it! I swear I will! And he'll tell Yukina! You know he will!"

"What do you want from me, Moron?" he growled, stopping in his tracks.

"I want you to be nicer to everyone! We're your only friends, after all!"

Hiei's glare hardened. "Foolish girl."

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then!" she giggled, walking away.

* * *

><p>Ayane: That was a pain to get to 100 words. Teehee.<p>

Hiei: …I would have killed you…

Ayane: I know! But it's just a story!


	6. Questions

(Draco stares)

Ayane: Yes, yes, I found one. I'll see about doing that sometime.

Draco: Not fair.

Ayane: Spoiled rich boy…

Artemis: Ayane doesn't own YYH, Inugirl27's Youtube video, or any songs. She owns her OC.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Six – Questions

**Ask him lots of questions and, when he order you to stop, ask why he wants you to stop**

"Why're you sharpening your katana?"

"It needs sharpened," Hiei responded.

"Why does it need sharpened?" Ayane looked at him curiously, wondering how long he would let her keep this up.

"So I can kill demons…"

"Why d'ya need to kill demons?" A smile tried to surface and she crushed it.

"…They're bad." His eyes narrowed; she was acting like a child.

"Why're they bad?" She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the giggles at bay.

"Shut up, Fool."

"…Why?"

**()()()**

"250 for each. 1250 yen, Yusuke. Hand it over."

"He still chased you."

"And I still want my money!"

* * *

><p>Ayane: Hmph! That wasn't as good as I wanted, but not awful!<p>

Hiei: …You're a moron.

Ayane: I'm _your_ moron. (giggles)


	7. War

Ayane: Teeheehee!

Kurama: I fear she has lost her sanity…

Ayane: I had sanity?

Yusuke: Crazy girl here doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Inugirl27's ideas on how to annoy Hiei.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Seven – War

**Throw stuff at him from behind Yusuke and Kurama so he can't kill you**

"I'm sorry, Hiei," Kurama apologized, a small smile of amusement crossing his face. "You know how Lady Ayane is."

"Back, you fiend!" she cried again, jumping high enough to throw another stuffed animal over Kurama's and Yusuke's shoulders at Hiei.

"Move so I can kill her. Now," he growled.

Yusuke laughed and crossed his arms. "Come on, now, like we'd let something like that ruin our amusement!"

"Boom! Headshot!" she shouted, hitting him square in the forehead with a small stuffed dog. She quickly tucked behind the two taller boys again…and sensed Hiei immediately behind her. "Erm… Hi?" she squeaked.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Wee! Super fun!<p>

(Kurama chuckles)

Yusuke: Dude, that'd be awesome!


	8. Drag

Ayane: This one'll rock! And I decided to get to number 10 then take a break! (smiles)

Kurama: Lady Ayane, you would have been dead multiple times right now.

Ayane: Yeah well. (giggles) I don't own YYH or Inugirl27's ideas. I own my OC.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Eight – Drag

**Picture Hiei, in your mind, as a girl wearing a dress and makeup**

"What in the Seven Hells are you giggling for now, Fool?" Hiei muttered, looking over at Ayane who sat on the couch, holding her sides.

"N-nothing! I swear!" She took a couple deep breaths and stayed quiet for a while. "You know, Hiei-dono, you'd look really good like that…" she said quietly.

He glared at her and paused for a moment, invading her private brain space. His eye twitched and he glared at her. "Never again, Girl," he warned.

"Would you prefer the dress be black instead of red? Oh! I forgot shoes!"

He growled. "You have three seconds. Run."

* * *

><p>Ayane: Yay! Hiei-dono in a dress!<p>

Yusuke: Hiei's over there, muttering something about murder…?

Ayane: …Shit.


	9. Optimisim

Ayane: I don't own YYH or Inugirl27's video. I've run out of things to talk about in this space.

Kurama: Oh, Lady Ayane…

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Nine – Optimism

**Be optimistic about everything and, whenever he tries to make you shut up, be happy about that, too**

"And then there was a bird! It was all: 'Yummy! Breakfast!' and ate the worm! And the worm was so excited! I bet it lived a good life! It'll come back as something good!"

"Girl, you're irritating me."

Ayane giggled. "That's okay! You're cute when you're irritated! I should make you irritated more often, I think!"

He glared and held his katana to her throat. "Shut up, Moron."

"Awh, Hiei-dono, you're so cute! You know you won't kill me!"

After a few quiet moments, he sheathed his katana and disappeared.

"I love you, too!" she called into the dark forest.

* * *

><p>Ayane: That was easier than I thought…<p>

Kurama: I thought that was sweet, actually.

Ayane: I bet Hiei didn't!


	10. Hola

Ayane: Bwahahaha! Yay!

Kuwabara: I almost feel bad for the Shrimp… (sweatdrops)

Ayane: I don't own YYH, Inugirl27's "20 Ways", or the following children's show! I own my OC only!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Ten – Hola!

**Make him watch Dora the Explorer, Blue's Clues, or Ni Hao Kai Lan for 12 hours straight without a break**

"Girl, you had better remove me from this chair now." The angry little fire demon glared at her.

"No way! You need to see this! And I custom ordered those ropes; it's about time I got to use them!" Ayane flipped on the television and left the room, leaving Hiei alone with the very colorful program.

**()()()**

"Lady Ayane, what did you do with Hiei?" Kurama asked.

"Hm? Who? …Oh…" She looked at the clock and sweat dropped. "Kur-kun, gimme two hours to give myself enough time to hide then go to the basement and let him go."

"Girl…"

"Uhm… Hola?"

* * *

><p>Ayane: I'm so dead! …And hungry. Very hungry. Time for my break!<p>

(Hiei grumbles)

Ayane: Hope you liked the first half!


	11. Tears

Ayane: Road trip!

Kurama: I fear you'll vomit, Lady Ayane…

Ayane: The power of the netbook will protect me!

Hiei: …Idiot.

Yusuke: Ayane doesn't own anything copyrighted or Inugirl27's video. She owns her OC.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Eleven – Tears

**Force him to watch "The Notebook" and tell him you'll tell Yukina who he is unless he cries during the movie**

Crimson eyes stared boredly at the movie the sobbing girl was watching in the room he had dubbed his own. Why was she in here? His life was Hell…

"Hiei-dono, it's so sad! Cry with me so I don't feel so stupid!" she ordered, pausing the movie.

He scoffed and crossed his arms. "I don't cry."

A pout crossed Ayane's features for a few moments before she smiled, realization hitting her. "You do if I threaten to tell Yukina about you," she responded in a sing-song way. She sweatdropped at the glare he gave her.

Oh, if looks could kill…

* * *

><p>Ayane: Does this count if I've never even seen or read "The Notebook"?<p>

Kuwabra: Uh…Aya, you're looking a bit green…

Ayane: no I'm not! Sh! The netbook's powers will… (pukes)

Kurama: Lady Ayane!


	12. Psych

(Hiei blinks)

Ayane: Whatchya doin', you Silly Boy?

Hiei: Research for Kurama.

Ayane: Kur-kun's researching my readers?

Hiei: Hn. Of course. They must be ill if they will read this garbage.

(Ayane sweatdrops)

Kurama: I called for no such research. Now... Lady Ayane does not own Yu Yu Hakuaho or Inugirl27's video. She owns her OC.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Twelve – Psych!

**Tell him that you know a good psychiatrist, in case he ever wants a friend**

"That took forever!" Ayane exclaimed, getting off the phone. "Hiei-dono, guess what!"

Hiei opened one eye to look at her. "What is it now, Girl?"

"Well, it took a couple calls, but I finally found someone you can talk to about that pent-up rage of yours." She noticed his raised eyebrow. "Name's Dr. Togashi!"

His eye twitched. "A doctor?"

"A psychiatrist, to be exact. He has a Makai clinic he set up with his wife!" There was a long pause.

"Girl…" he started warningly, eyes narrowing.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm running," she muttered bitterly, moving her legs towards the door. "Jerk."

* * *

><p>Ayane: …I may actually throw up in the car…<p>

Kurama: Lady Ayane…

Ayane: Sh! I got this!


	13. Disappointment

Ayane: Everyone content now? Good! Here we go!

(Hiei rolls his eyes)

Kurama: Lady Ayane doesn't own anything copyrighted or Inugirl27's video. She owns her OC.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Thirteen – Disappointment

**Whenever he threatens to kill you, which he undoubtedly will at some point, tell him that Yukina would be very disappointed in him**

"…and then there was this bird that—"

"Woman, shut up before I kill you." Hiei's eyes stayed shut as he leaned against the tree.

Ayane pouted and crossed her arms, sticking her tongue out at him. "Don't be silly, Hiei-dono, you won't kill me!"

"Hn?" His eyes opened, albeit narrowly, and he looked at her. "And what makes you say that, Idiot Woman?"

"Because," she started, "you and I both know that Yukina would be very disappointed if you killed her best friend! She may even cry! You'll upset her!"

His eye twitched before looking away. "Feh. Idiot Woman."

* * *

><p>Hiei: I reluctantly must admit this is true.<p>

Ayane: Yup, yup! Teehee. Thanks to this and _NBNA_, I've had over 1,000 hits on all my stories and almost half of that were actual visitors!

(Kurama laughs)

Yusuke: Ayane would appreciate a review or two, Slackers.

(Ayane grins and gives a peace-sign)


	14. Watching

Ayane: Teehee!

Hiei: Woman… Hn. (gives up and shakes his head)

Kuwabara: Aya doesn't own YYH, Inugirl27's vid, or the song "Somebody's Watching Me"!

Yusuke: She owns her OC!

Ayane: Chyeah!

(Everyone sweatdrops)

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Fourteen – Watching

**Do something to make him angry, wait till he glares at you, then start singing "I always feel like somebody's watching me"**

"Hiei-dono! Hey, Hiei-dono! Guess what!" Ayane called across the living room, turned away from the fire apparition.

"Hn?"

"I know the truth! You love me! My fortune cookie says so! I'm gonna tell the whole world right now!" She flipped open her cell.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "Put that contraption away," he growled, his look becoming a full-on glare.

"…I always feel like somebody's watching me…and I have no privacy!" she sang quietly as she shut her phone.

She did not see it, but his eye twitched behind her back and he reached for his katana…

* * *

><p>Artemis: Ayane's walked away, for her own sanity.<p>

Kurama: …She only has six left… She has really lost it…


	15. Oaf

Ayane: I truly think this one's awful… (frowns)

Hiei: Remorse will not prolong your life, Girl.

Ayane: Make it quick! I do not own YYH or Inugirl27's Youtube video which is where all these wonderful drabbles come from! I do own my OC!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Fifteen – Oaf

**Tell him he's an oaf who just swings his sword around; compare him to Kuwabara**

Ayane glared into the tree the little demon was "resting" in. "Koenma wants to talk to us _now_, not after your beauty sleep!"

"You are not my keeper, Woman," Hiei scoffed, eyes still shut. "Go away and leave me be."

She crossed her arms and pouted. "Yeah, you're right. If I was your keeper, you wouldn't have ended up like Kuwabara…" she sighed forlornly.

"…What did you say?" he growled, suddenly in front of her.

"I said you're an oaf who swings a sword around – you're just like Kuwabara!" she shouted over her shoulder as she ran to the portal.

* * *

><p>(Ayane shudders)<p>

Hiei: Hn. I'd be far more gruesome than _you're_ imagining, Woman.

Ayane: Wahhhh! Kurama-kun, hide me!

Kurama: Hope you liked it! (blinks as Ayane runs behind him)


	16. Gel

Miyu: Okaa-sama doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho or the "20 Ways to Annoy Hiei" video made by a pretty girl called Inugirl27! She only owns her OC!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Sixteen – Gel

**Ask him what hair gel he uses to make his hair stick up like that**

"That's it! I can't take it anymore. I'm spending all my money trying to figure it out and I just can't, Hiei-dono! I'm going broke!" Ayane cried.

Hiei blinked slowly at her, silent for a moment before: "What?"

"The guys told me not to ask you but I want you to be completely honest with me, okay? This is super important!" When she saw his eyes were on her, she pointed to his hair. "What the hell is in your hair that makes it stay up like that?"

He gripped the bridge of his nose. "Get out of my sight."

* * *

><p>Ayane: Seriously, though, I think I found the stuff.<p>

Hiei: It's natural, Moron.

(Ayane stares blankly at him)


	17. Cyclops

Ayane: Hm… Well, I don't own YYH or Inugirl27's video so that leaves my OC!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Seventeen – Cyclops

**Imply that third eyes are only acceptable if you're a Cyclops**

"So you're like a freakish, willing, Cyclops cross breed then?"

Hiei looked over at Ayane. "Are you still wasting air, you insignificant fool?"

"Well you have a third eye. That makes you kinda related to the Cyclops! I mean, that makes the most sense. I dunno why you'd wanna be associated with them, though. You pretty much offered to be part of their world!" She was looking away from him, knowing she would need an exit soon.

"…The sound of your voice pisses me off," he growled, hovering over her, katana fully drawn.

"Teehee! Later!" she giggled, disappearing almost instantly.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Yay! That one kicked my butt…<p>

Hiei: …Moron.

Kurama: Lady Ayane… (chuckles)


	18. Dealer

Disclaimer: Ayane doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Inugirl27's Youtube video. She only owns her OC. Ever. Mostly.

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Eighteen – Dealer

**Ask him where he keeps getting a new sword as he seems to break one every 5 or 6 episodes**

"So who's your dealer?" Ayane asked suspiciously.

Hiei stopped sharpening his sword and looked at her, bored. "What nonsense are you blathering, Fool?"

"Well, I've noticed you break your sword a lot. Like…_a lot_! Yet, somehow, you always have one! So do you have an endless supply stashed somewhere or do you have a dealer that comes running at your beck and call? …Is she cute?"

He rolled his eyes. "Like I would tell you."

"Ugh. Guess Kuwabara wins. You _do_ just hide them up your ass…"

He stiffened and turned to see her already running off, muttering to herself.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Blegh!<p>

Hiei: His name is Paco…

Ayane: Huh?

Hiei: My dealer. His name is Paco.

(Ayane sweatdrops)

Hiei: Hn?

Ayane: I really _have_ lost my mind!


	19. Bandaged

(Ayane yawns)

Kurama: Lady Ayane, you should rest.

Ayane: Huh? I'm nearly finished! Psh!

Koto: And it's been decided! Ayane does _not_ own the rights to Yu Yu Hakusho _nor_ does she own a video posted by Inugirl27! However, Ayane _does_ own her OC!

(Ayane facepalms)

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Nineteen – Bandaged

**Ask him why he has so many bandages on his arms – imply that he cut himself with his sword on accident…then run**

"You're one clumsy demon, you know that, Hiei-dono?" Ayane teased from a few feet away.

"Hn? Is that so, Girl?" he muttered, showing little interest.

"Yeah. You talk big, too! You claim you're some fantastic swordsman, but we all know the truth beneath those bandages! You're a klutz, Hiei-dono! You must lose your grip on your sword a bunch!" She sweat dropped as he neared her, said sword drawn. "U-uhm…no need to be hasty now…"

**()()()**

"He's been chasing her for an hour now," Yusuke said, sweat dropping. "What'd she say to piss him off?"

Kurama smiled, amused. "Who knows, Yusuke?"

* * *

><p>Ayane: Hey! That makes sense! …Wow, one to go!<p> 


	20. Short

Ayane: This one'll be cute!

Hiei: And you will die.

Ayane: Suuuure. I don't own YYH or Inugirl17's video. I own my OC. Enjoy that last chapter!

* * *

><p><strong><span>20 Ways to Annoy Hiei<span>**

Chapter Twenty – Short

**Ask why he's so short then add that you like short guys so he won't kill you**

"I've never asked you before…" Ayane started hesitantly, standing in front of Hiei as he perched on the window sill, "but why are you so short?"

His eyes narrowed and he touched the hilt of his katana. "What was that, Girl?"

"No, no, no! Don't get me wrong! I _love_ short guys – especially cute ones like you – and, I mean, you're still taller than me, anyway! I was just asking! Look, I get it, stupid question. I'll just shut up and walk away now…" She sensed her life shortening before she even walked out of the room.

"…Fool…" he mumbled.

* * *

><p>Ayane: Ah, I can just imagine the blush!<p>

Hiei: …I _will_ murder you…

Ayane: And that's that! All done! Yay! That was super fun. (grins) I even got two chapters of _NBNA_ up in one day! Job well done, Ayane!

Yusuke: Huzzah! (has brought the booze)

(Everyone celebrates)


End file.
